Today, I am 3 years free from cigarettes!
I’m so proud of myself for this. It’s actually kind of weird now, thinking back to when I used to be a smoker. Cigarettes controlled me for 10 years! But now, I encourage everyone I know that they CAN and MUST quit!
I tried smoking for the first time at 14 years old. Just like everyone says, high school, peer pressure, all my friends were doing it. By the age of 15 I was a regular smoker. Small town, we had our ways of getting them; gas stations that would sell to minors. Both of my parents are also smokers, so neither of them actually had grounds to “force” me to stop. Moving out of my moms and into my dad’s, I think is what mostly encouraged my habit. There is SO MUCH more to my “growing up” story that I’ll maybe share another time. But that’s a lot of drama for another day.
From the beginning, I was always a pretty heavy smoker. I had a horrible smokers cough. I took smoke breaks every hour on the hour. My clothes stunk, my hair stunk, my hands stunk. Of course you don’t notice these things when you do smoke. By the time I did quit, I was smoking a pack and a half a day. That’s 30 cigarettes a day!!!
When Jonathan and I got engaged in December 2014, is when quitting first became an idea, although I didn’t do it right away.
Reasons I wanted to: One, I DID NOT want to be walking around in my wedding dress with a cigarette in my hand. And two, I had a couple friends pregnant at the time and I knew they wouldn’t want me holding their babies while smelling of tobacco.
Even though I always knew I would quit one day, I never really had a plan of when. And even when I did go for it, the desire really wasn’t THAT strong. I didn’t REALLY want to quit, and I don’t think anyone does. But I did, and this is how.
How I Quit:
First thing I did, in May 2015 I went about two months ahead on my calendar and picked a day (July 24, 2015). That would be the day I quit. I told everyone. Friends, family, coworkers... even a couple strangers. I hyped it up and made sure everyone knew, that way I would be supported and be held accountable. My husband was also a smoker, (He’s now on his 2nd year smoke free), so I had to have him on board to support me also. I wish he would’ve quit with me because it would have made it easier, but he just wasn’t ready at the time. I simply did not let him smoke in the house until I had a grip on things. And he couldn’t smoke around me at all the first week or so. (Warning: When you quit, it smells sooooo bad if someone smokes around you!)
My last day as a smoker, I smoked as much as I could before going to bed. I left one cigarette in my pack as my “emergency/security blanket.” (Never smoked it). The next morning, QUIT DAY, my anxiety was insane and physical symptoms were awful. I immediately went to the pharmacy before work to buy patches (never used them, I returned for a refund) and nicotine gum. I actually cried real tears to the pharmacist that I was quitting tobacco today and needed help. I was sweating and shaking and felt HORRIBLE! I made it through the whole work day on edge but “okay”, then the moment I got into my car to go home, I sobbed the whole way. Smoking while driving was my favorite, and now it was over. Once home, I chewed on the one and only piece of nicotine gum I ever used, in my car, until the physical withdrawal passed. The rest of the evening, I held a cigarette in my hand and sucked on it here and there pretending it was lit. I also downloaded an app called “Smoke Free” that cheered me on with badges, tips, encouragement and tracking money saved, as I progressed.
Day two, I woke up and immediately went to my local Vape store and purchased a starter kit for about $50. (I did eventually upgrade to a box mod.) Before you get all judgmental, I know vaping is not good for you, just like cigarettes. But vaping 100% saved me and my efforts, even though the switch SUCKS at first. I truly think if you’re going to quit by using a vape, you should stick to ONLY vaping! I don’t believe you can successfully quit using both the vape and cigs together. And you should probably do it the same way I did, since it worked so well for me.
I found a flavor I liked at 12mg nicotine (recommended to me based on how much I was smoking daily). And I only vaped that one flavor the entire time; Never got into trying different flavors. The first day or two, I choked and coughed and really was not enjoying the vape... then my throat got used to it. (Hang in there!) After about a month, I dropped to 10mg, then 8mg. Stayed at that level for a while. Every time I dropped nicotine levels, it took a day or two for me to get used to, but I just had to be patient. Eventually it felt fine.
Then I dropped again to 6mg, 3mg... and eventually I was combining 3mg and 0mg to make a 1.5mg nicotine. All in all, I vaped for right at a year while continuing to lower my nicotine levels over that time. Once I was at 0mg nicotine, I found myself vaping less every day until one day I realized, “hey... I haven’t vaped all day.” It was absolutely amazing. I still would vape when drinking for maybe the first two months, simply because when I drank is when I would want the hand to mouth motion the most, but at that point it was honestly all in my head. A few months after our wedding, I knew we were go to try to start our family. So it was super easy to give it up completely before we started trying in November 2016.
Shortly after I quit the vape completely, my husband had his first kidney stone and went to the ER. During his CT scan, they found a small nodule on his lung, which has not grown since, but it freaked him out enough that he quit the very next day, the same way I did. Today, he is 532 days smoke free, is on 0mg nicotine, using his vape less every day, and I’m so proud of him.
OUR HOUSE NO LONGER SMELLS LIKE NASTY CIGARETTES!
Unless you’ve been a smoker, it’s kind of hard to understand. But it is such a cool feeling being free from it. And having empty hands. And being told by my mom (who still unfortunately smokes) how good I smell ALL THE TIME. And my teeth are now getting whiter, thanks to some white strips. And my gums are healthy and not hurting. And my dentist tells me every 6 months how beautiful my teeth are. And I don’t ever need “smoke breaks.” And my cough is gone. And I can run on the treadmill. And my nails and hair are healthier. And my skin is clearer. And food tastes better! Gosh, It’s just AMAZING!
With quitting I did gain weight; about 35lbs total. Which I’m still working on getting rid of today. I’ve been dieting off and on for the last 2 years and from my heaviest, I am down 23lbs. My mom always says that my will power is wayyyy stronger than others, but I don’t think so. I’ve just always been the kind of person that when I put my mind to something I stick to it. I don’t go back on my word. If I say I’m going to do it, I’m dead serious. Maybe that why I was so successful with quitting while others still struggle. I don’t know the answer to that. But I do know that if I can do it, and my husband can do it, ANYONE can.
As amazing as all of this is, I still crave a cigarette on occasion. I don’t think that will ever go away completely. But I am stronger than any desire I’ll ever have for a cigarette! I just distract myself and the desire just goes away. Weirdly enough, I still smoke in my dreams sometimes. And I always wake up completely blown away by the fact that I am smoking. Thank God it’s just a dream!!
So I will just end this post by saying, 3 Years Smoke Free for me! I am SO PROUD TO BE A QUITTER! If you’re a smoker, you can be too! If you’re not a smoker, feel free to share my story with smoking friends and family to motivate them to quit.
