I’ve done it again…. Completely slacked and haven’t paid any attention to this thing I call my blog.
Life has been going a hundred miles a minute it feels like. We are constantly go go go, dinner with friends, birthday parties, office work to do, doctor appointments, sickness, bible studies, house chores, and finally a vacation!
It has been hard to even feel like I have time to unwind most days, so this vacation was so well deserved.
Jonathan and I went just the two of us, to Myrtle Beach, SC for vacation last week and enjoyed our time together so much. I won’t bore you with day-to-day details. But here are just a few pictures from our trip. Wax Museum, Beach, Pool, Alabama Theatre, Aquarium, Sky Wheel, Yummy Food, NAPS, games and just being together.
I needed this trip so bad. It was during my TWW and helped to make the time go by faster and just gave me the opportunity to not obsess (as much), like I usually do during a TWW. Femara/Letrozole 5mg worked this time and I ovulated! Woohoo! On CD17, which I was proud of! So my hopes were extremely high. Sad to say we did not get a BFP on this round, and my period started yesterday, right on time, on my 28th birthday. I’ll spare you of all my thoughts and feelings this time, because it’s nothing new. I guess maybe I wasn’t AS upset because at least the medicine worked and my ovaries did their job. We just didn’t get lucky enough to conceive. I did have a good birthday though despite some killer cramps. My Dad picked me up at work and took me to lunch. My office had a cute birthday cake for me. And like every year, went out to dinner with my Mom, Jonathan, and my Granny for a “joined” birthday dinner at Maggiano’s since Granny’s birthday is two days after mine.
Disappointment and PMS had me feeling pretty lousy leading up to yesterday. But now that it’s a new cycle, I’m starting the rollercoaster all over again. Excitement and expectation building for this NEXT round to work and for us to hopefully conceive. It’s crazy how the ups and downs have my emotions always going crazy. I will admit, I am trying to be cautiously optimistic this time. If you’ve been keeping up with my journey, you know I previously did 3 rounds of Clomid. 1st didn’t ovulate, 2nd Ovulated and had my chemical pregnancy, and then on the 3rd round… my body did not ovulate and I was completely disappointed. So going into round 3 of Femara, I am hopeful but also preparing myself in case it doesn’t work again this time. But I am continuing to put my faith in God that he knows what he's doing and that he will allow it to happen at the perfect time.
This will be our 6th round of fertility meds, and to be honest… it’s getting old. I’m not exactly sure but I’m thinking we may have to take a little break if this round doesn’t work. Simply because Jonathan and I both are starting to get a little burnt out on this journey. The last thing I want is for this to affect our marriage in a negative way. So we shall see how we are feeling if this round doesn’t do the trick. We are approaching 2 years of TTC and I truly never thought it was going to take this long. I knew we might struggle, but seriously…I didn’t expect it to be the journey that it has become. We have started letting more friends, family and even simple acquaintances in on our struggle. If people ask, I don’t lie anymore. I simply say we’ve been trying for quite some time and it’s been a difficult road so far. Sometimes it feels good being honest, sometimes it doesn’t. But I think it’s beneficial to be up front with people, especially when they ask. It brings more awareness to the struggles some couples have and teaches others to be sensitive to the subject of infertility. It’s something that I wouldn’t wish for anyone to go through and people will never fully understand the turmoil unless they have walked the same road.
So moving forward, I’ll update on here when life/time allows for it. I may or may not take a hiatus from ALL social media for some time during this next round, simply to help with stress and anxiety. Not to mention just taking a break from it all will also be good for my mental health. Going to be hard, but I plan on completely deleting the Facebook and Instagram apps completely from my phone during this time so I will not be tempted. Small goals first so I don’t chicken out. My first goal will be 3 days. If I can make it 3 full days, I will extend to a week. And if that week goes great and I am feeling good about it, I will determine how much longer I want to continue. I’ve never taken a break from social media, so no guarantees I’ll be any good at it. But we shall see…
If you’re reading this, maybe you can take a moment to think about your own mental health and might even consider taking a 3 day break also, just to see how you feel afterwards. Good luck!
