It’s about time I get around to writing my Labor and Delivery story. It was a pretty long and drawn out process so going to kind of do things timeline style starting from the beginning. As many know, I had been diagnosed with Gestational Hypertension at 27 weeks and had been on medication that had been previously maintaining a high but manageable blood pressure. Well on Wednesday, June 12th things changed.
I went into work that morning (37w6d) and had not slept well the night before but didn’t think too much of it. I had been controlling my Gestational Diabetes well, and while I was monitoring that 4 times a day, checking my blood pressure had kind of been put on the back burner. Around 10am I noticed I had been feeling somewhat shaky. Decided to check it, 145/99. This made me pretty nervous so I tried my best to relax but continued to monitor it every 30 minutes. While my coworker was at lunch, it had gotten up to 150/112. I called my Drs office and left an urgent message for the triage nurse. Knowing I had my 38 week appointment the next morning and was going to be scheduling induction anyways, I figured they might make me come in, but also may just tell me to go home and lay in bed until the next morning. When my coworker came back, she and her fiancé drove me home because at that point I was so worked up and crying, my BP was like 170/119. In my mind, I knew this was going to be it. Once I got home, the nurse called me back. She was glad I was home and resting, and since I had been doing so, my BP was back down to 145/96, which is still high but low enough for me to be able to go in the morning to my apportionment to most likely end up being induced. Well as the afternoon and evening progressed my BP was just hovering about 150s/100. I could not relax, I was scared that my baby was in danger and there was no way I would be able to sleep. Let alone if something happened I wouldn't have been able to forgive myself. So with encouragement from my husband, we decided to load my bags in the car and go in to Labor and Delivery. On the way there we reached out to the on call Dr who also said I should come in to be evaluated.
We arrived at the hospital around 9:30pm, checked in and hooked up to all the monitors. Baby was fine. BP was coming down. My bloodwork and urine tests were being evaluated. The on call Dr checked me, still no dilation whatsoever. He said maybe a dimple. All was looking good and Dr said I would most likely be going home. Then my urine test came back with an insane amount of protein. 0.3 is the cutoff for diagnosing preeclampsia, mine was 5.3... so I was in there to stay. Time to have a baby!
June 13th
We immediately began with oral Cytotec to get contractions going at 12:30am, I was to take it every 4 hours. They checked me into my delivery room. And the sweet nurse found me a salad in the fridge to eat.
Since our dog needed to be let out and it would be quite some time before any action happened, we decided Jonathan should go home and get a good nights sleep in preparation for what was to come. While I was nervous about being at the hospital alone, I felt comfortable with this plan. I did stay up late. Wrote a letter the to my baby. Eventually I was able to go to sleep.
4:30AM - Nurse came in to give me my next dose of Cytotec.
8:30AM - Another dose. They let me order breakfast and take a shower! I was so grateful because they usually wouldn’t allow it. But since I hadn’t yet felt regular contractions they agreed I could. Jonathan was back shortly after my shower. Around lunch time, I went to the bathroom and noticed the mucus plug. No further info needed. And I had start feeling contractions. Nothing painful yet but just a tightening right in the center of my tummy.
1:30PM - My OBGYN showed up. Checked me. I was only 1 cm dilated and 50% effaced. They inserted a Foley Balloon at this time which was painful in the moment and then SUPER uncomfortable the remainder of the time it was in. It was to stay in for 12 hours or until it fell out on its own.
8PM - My contractions had started slowing down so the Foley Balloon was removed by a little tug from a nurse. She said it was really just sitting there and ready to come out. I was checked and was then 5cm. The thing is, being manually dilated is different than your body doing it on its own. I truly think my body wasn't ready to give birth, and the same time my body wasn't doing good being pregnant anymore.
9PM - We began IV Pitocin. I was having contractions that were still manageable and went to sleep.
June 14th
2AM - I woke up in quite a bit of discomfort. I had to begin breathing my way through contractions. Doing a bit of moaning as well.
6AM - I got an epidural. And let me tell you, to all the women that say it’s not painful... I guess that’s when you have a straight spine. For me and my scoliosis, it was absolutely horrible. I had come prepared with X-rays to show the anesthesiologist, but unfortunately my curve is where the epidural gets placed so it was going to be a challenge. The Lidocaine for numbing the area... sucks. I truly though I had a high pain tolerance but I guess I was wrong. I cried... a lot. Then she began to try to place the epidural. Didn’t take the first time. Had to remove it and then stick me again. It was extremely strange feeling pressure wise and painful at the same time. I had to apologize to both the nurse and the anesthesiologist after it was over for my dramatic reaction to the whole process. Poor Jonathan teared up in front of me to see me in so much pain through the process. He would tell you the entire experience was horrific. And unfortunately with my scoliosis, I was only numb on one side. Then the nurse came in to put in a catheter, which wasn’t fun either. But she was quick and I got used to it faster than I did the Foley Balloon.
8AM - My OBGYN came in and broke my water. Still only at 5cm.
Around 10AM, the IV that was giving the Pitocin had stopped working off and on, and my contractions also stopped. The nurse had to keep coming back in the restart the annoying beeping machine. And then finally realized there was a problem with the IV. For about an hour the nurse did everything she could to try to fix the IV. But ended up having to take it out completely and start a new one.
1:30PM - My OBGYN came in to check me and I was at 6cm and I was exhausted. She offered at that time to do a C-section because I was worried I would be too tired to push when the time came. I was so disappointed the Pitocin had stopped and felt like I hadn’t been given a fair chance to dilate. It was my choice to restart Pitocin and wait, knowing my OBGYN would not be there to deliver my baby, or go for the Cesarean then. At this point, I had been at it for 37 hours. But wanted a fair chance to deliver vaginally since I was terrified of having a C-section. Hardest decision ever. We restarted Pitocin. And I moaned and groaned for another 6 hours.
8:45PM - Checked and I was sadly still only 6cm. I was pretty upset by this, but it was time for a C-section. Baby Boy was still doing fine but the fear of things going wrong worried me. His head had started molding from being stuck in the same position for so long and the Dr and a couple nurses had said it seemed like he was sunny side up.
Once I said let’s do it, things went fast. Lots of people in and out. Everyone talking to me and telling me how things would be. The anesthesiologist came back and super dosed me... I was finally completely numb on both sides. Thank goodness! I was so scared I was going to feel them cut me!
Time to go! They took me across the hall to the OR. While they were prepping me, I shared with them all the journey Jonathan and I had been on to get to this point. I told them about my miscarriage and the multiple rounds of medication. They were all so excited for us and I was actually feeling finally excited when Jonathan was allowed in the room. I didn’t feel them cut me but all of the frantic tugging and pulling and table shaking... I was crying and hollering! It HURT! I’m sure it would’ve been a thousand times worse without the epidural, but I swear to you, I still felt pain. And with my nerves on top of it, I couldn’t help it. I had to let them know when I was feeling pain. And then they said “Are you ready to meet your baby?” Jonathan and I were so excited! But I was hurting! They pulled so hard to get him out, my body came up off the table, even though you’re strapped down. I was screaming and the nurse loaded me with what Jonathan said was morphine. The cord was wrapped once around his neck, he was confirmed sunny side up. The nurses were all saying “He is soooo tiny!” At 10:00PM exactly our son, Landen Scott Martin, was born.
He let out 3 little cries, and then was quiet. They briefly showed him to us on the side. We were both crying, and while I was still extremely distracted by the quickness of everything going on behind the sheet, Jonathan asked “is he okay?” They calmly said “yes,” Jonathan asked “is he still in here?” And they said “yes come here and see him.” He was perfect and so incredibly calm.
He let out 3 little cries, and then was quiet. They briefly showed him to us on the side. We were both crying, and while I was still extremely distracted by the quickness of everything going on behind the sheet, Jonathan asked “is he okay?” They calmly said “yes,” Jonathan asked “is he still in here?” And they said “yes come here and see him.” He was perfect and so incredibly calm.
They quickly worked on me and Jonathan was handed Landen they sat beside me and I was able to touch him and put my cheek to his. Such an incredible moment. I was dosed pretty good at that point so some things are a little blurry. But once finished, I was moved back to the bed and finally allowed to hold him. Amazing. They wheeled me back to my room and we began our skin to skin. My mom was there and able to see him. She knew how important it was to me for it to be some time for just Jonathan, Landen and I to be alone, so she kissed my forehead, told me he was beautiful and she left with plans to come back first thing in the morning. Landen latched immediately on both sides when I was ready to nurse him. It was such precious sweet time. I could not believe he was actually here in my arms. I am a mom. His mom.
Sometime later the nurse came in to evaluate him and get his measurements. And also to check on me. They push down on your tummy/uterus area to get out blood. I felt a big gush. I know this is gross, so discontinue reading if needed. Then 10 minutes later they did it again. A third time a different nurse case and her method was different... I felt a lot come out. Every time they were making me lift my butt and change the pads beneath me. Then the forth time, the nurse said “I am going to go get Dr. Diaz.” Something was wrong. The Dr came in and pushed so incredibly hard I was grunting through it and began to feel faint. I looked over to my left and saw that my blood pressure was 70/30... and I heard Dr Diaz say “I’m going to have to take her back to the OR.” I was hemorrhaging. I looked over at Jonathan who had Landen across the room because I will say that what I felt coming out of me, while I didn’t see it, must have been extremely graphic. I mouthed to him that I was going to be going back to surgery. And that’s mostly what I remember from those moments. Feeling extremely weak, like the life was leaving my body... which it kind of was. They got me back into an operating room and I remember just crying. Being so upset that I wasn’t spending these precious first hours holding my son. And feeling extremely exposed lying naked on the table in a room full of people. While I know they see this all the time, it was just very traumatic.
I don’t know how long I was in there or asleep, but I woke up scratching my face and a nurse telling me “no don’t do that!” I was in good spirits and was glad it was over. They said they removed a softball sized blood clot that was keeping my uterus from closing, which is why I was continuing to bleed. I lost a little over 2000 units of blood, which is apparently a lot. I was anxious to get back to Landen. When they wheeled me back in, my mom and Jonathan were both there crying in relief. I know that had to be so terrifying for Jonathan. Being handed his new baby and his wife being rushed out of the room for emergency surgery. (They didn’t end up having to cut me again. They went in vaginally to remove the clot.) But I can imagine the horror he felt and my mother must have felt when he called her to come back to the hospital. I don’t remember feeling scared. Just sad. I just wanted to be okay so I could be with my baby. And by the grace of God, I was. No transfusion was needed. And while recovery was extremely slow and difficult, I was going to be fine.
June 15th
The next day, we had a few visitors. Family only of course. And honestly I was not up for it. I didn’t want to see anyone. And when my mother-in-law and sister-in-law had overstayed their welcome, I had to be strong and tell them I needed them to leave. His mom wanted to come back and I told her no. They had spent more time holding my baby than I had at that point and I was mad and in pain and exposed and trying to breastfeed and still had a catheter and just extremely bothered by everyone. I hate to say that, but I’m being honest here. Jonathan just couldn’t understand why, and even with explaining as much as I could, he probably still doesn’t understand.
The nurses were pushing formula, because I wasn’t producing anything. And I was upset then but see why now. At birth he was 5lbs 8oz. If they get below 5lbs, they don’t let the baby go home. And to keep that from happening they encouraged supplementing immediately. So we did. We did what we needed to do. I pumped every couple hours. Getting nothing. I was not aware that we could request donor milk. If I had known, that is the route I would have taken.
June 16th
Jonathan’s 33rd Birthday and his 1st Father’s Day. What a special Birthday it was for him. We did have our photographer come that day and do an awesome Fresh 48 session. While we were sleep and shower deprived, I will always cherish these photos.
June 17th
June 18th
Discharge day. 3:30AM I got two syringes of colostrum! I was so proud. Landen was circumcised that morning and while in his 2 hour monitor period, I had to walk the syringes to the nurses station so they could give them to him before they expired. And it broke my heart to feel like I was bringing so little to provide him. I started boohooing. A nurse came back to my room to tell me to be proud and it makes them so happy to see me trying so hard to give my baby whatever I could. But my emotions hit me hard after that moment. I didn’t want to go home. I was crying to every single nurse that asked how I was doing. It was such an emotional, and exciting day. While I was so extremely happy, I also had a lot of sadness about leaving the hospital.
At 4PM we were in the car and headed home with a now 5lbs 3oz peanut!
Huge thanks to my mom who came and stayed 5 nights with us. She was an incredible help to me since I wasn’t exactly mobile and because Jonathan, being a business owner, had to get back to work after spending 6 days at the hospital. Also, I want to say that each and every nurse was so nice and made me feel so cared for while we were in the hospital. And while nothing came easy for me, they made the experience so nice. They went above and beyond to make sure me, Landen and Jonathan were all doing okay. I swear it takes some special women (and men) to do their jobs. They have to do a lot of things that most people wouldn't want to or be willing to do for a complete stranger. Such a blessing to have the incredible women that were all of my nurses during my stay. My OB was so kind and checked in on me several times. The Dr that was on call when I arrived to the hospital stopped in the check on us. Lactation came by several times to cheer me on and reassure me that I could do it. As traumatic and difficult as the whole process was for us, I am so grateful that I have a healthy little boy! He is my entire world and I would go through everything all over again in a heartbeat. It truly is a life changing experience becoming a mama. It’s one of the hardest and most rewarding things I have ever experienced in my life.
I’ll try to get another post out soon for how things have been going as far as day to day from the beginning to now, with my big 2 and a half month old! He is now 11lbs 13oz! As well as a post on breastfeeding, which has been a whole different difficult journey altogether. (Happy to say we finally have the hang of breastfeeding and producing what’s needed, but definitely was a lot of hard work to get to this point.)
Thank you all for bearing with me while I get the hang of this whole mom gig for me to actually get the time to put this post together. I’m glad I have it all written out now so I can look back on it for years to come and also share the whole story with Landen one day.
