Today snuck up on me.
April 11th, 2023.
Your due date.
Of course my mama heart could not let this day pass by without honoring you in some way. 🤍
I wanted you and I prayed for you.
I loved you from the moment I knew you were.
I tried to hold on to hope through the days of uncertainty.
And then I lost you.
Quickly and slowly.
Weeks passed and I couldn’t get a grip.
Not coping well mentally or physically.
We discovered my body was convinced you were still with me, even though that wasn’t the case.
Medical intervention was necessary and I had to somewhat experience losing you all over again.
More weeks passed. Things leveled out.
My body went back to normal and so did life.
But your existence matters.
My grief over losing you has value.
And I will always think of what life could have looked like with you in it.
Love, your Mom.
—
You may be thinking this is similar to a post you’ve seen from me in the past. That’s because it is. Today is another due date for another baby I wasn’t able to welcome into this world.
I don’t pretend to know why these things happen.
But I take comfort in knowing that God will use every detail of my experiences surrounding miscarriage for my good and His glory.
It’s not pointless.
It has purpose.
Redemptive purpose.
“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28
