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Monday, November 27, 2017

Emotional Wreck

I know these kind of posts are bound to be annoying, but this is where I come to lay it all out there.

So first, update on taking Clomid. Today is CD 15 and I haven’t ovulated yet. Which is really discouraging. I’m still hopeful that I will ovulate but hasn’t happened as of today.
The five days of taking it, I had several side effects. Vivid dreams, hot flashes, moody, bloated/swollen in my ovary areas, cramps, and most of all, I was ravenous!! Eating everything!
With all the side effects, I truly felt like the medicine was doing something. But the fact that I haven’t ovulated yet and side effects are all gone now, has me nervous that it didn’t work at all. Praying with every inch of me that it just hasn’t happened yet and will any day now.

Next on my list... our sweet old man Oscar. He’s been struggling for quite sometime with a few really bad days recently. After a fall this morning and not eating, Jonathan decided it was time to call the vet. He has an appointment tomorrow evening at 6:00 to end all his pain. Jonathan and I are broken hearted and will be grieving him for sometime. But for tonight, I promised to love on him and rub his belly and give him all the treats and make sure he knows how loved he is. We will be staying with him for the euthanasia procedure tomorrow so he hopefully won’t be too scared. It’s going to be so hard, but I always said that putting a loved pet down is the greatest last gift you can give them.
Jonathan and I will be missing a piece of our hearts without him in our home, but we know it’s time, he’s ready.


Next update, my Grandma (dad’s Mom) went into the hospital on Friday 11/17. Heart Failure, COPD. She’s been two packs a day smoker almost her whole life, and at 80 years old... they said she was a walking miracle that she hasn’t been on oxygen before now. Last Wednesday before Thanksgiving, it was looking like we were going to lose her. But what a turn around she made over the next few days! She’s been moved out of the ICU and is improving! Praise God! The power of prayer is truly amazing and I fully believe that it changes things. All of her 4 living children, her 10 grandkids, and 4 great grandkids plus loads of extended family and friends and been praying constantly for her and God has shown us how great he is.

Thanksgiving went by in a blur. Lots of cooking.

We went to a funeral on Saturday for Jonathan’s Aunt’s longtime boyfriend who passed away suddenly.

Two different pregnancy announcements I’ve had to endure. My cousins wife is pregnant with their second child. Which I took that news well. Then my close friend Katie... she’s been also TTC for a few months now, her and I have kept each other up to date. Well she just told me today that she is pregnant. She found out two weeks ago but was scared to tell me for fear of making me sad. Well, I am so incredibly happy for her and her husband. They are wonderful people and so deserve their rainbow baby! But it also makes my heart ache even more, wishing and praying that I will be able to have the same exciting news to share soon.

So ending the post here so I don’t go on and on about how sad I am right now. Going to try to keep my mind calm and keep my eyes on God throughout this difficult time.

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