Christmas is Over / Weekend Recap 12/23-12/26

Christmas came and went in a blur, as it does every year. Differences being that this year, with my Grandma in the hospital, my dad's side of the family did not get together. I did go spend some time with her Christmas Eve morning in the hospital and gave her gift to her. She made sure I left those Chocolate Covered Potato chips where she could get to them easily. They say she's got pneumonia pretty bad, and apparently she had it when they sent her home from the hospital the first time. This time we are hoping that they keep her there until she beats it because we worry if they send her home, then she will end up back in there in a day or two.

The Saturday before Christmas, we went to my Dad's house, exchanged gifts with him and my stepmom, then went to Ruby Tuesday's for lunch.

Christmas Eve, we went to Jonathan's Dad house after I got home from the hospital. Had a wonderful dinner there and exchanged gifts.

Every year Jonathan and I open presents when we wake up on Christmas morning then head over to my mom's for Christmas Brunch with the family. Unfortunately, my mom came down with a horrible stomach bug Christmas Eve night and we had to cancel Christmas morning. Since I had already started cooking by the time I got the message from mom, we decided to just pack up the food and go to Jonathan's mom's house and eat with her and Jonathan's step brother, Wesley.

We hung out there a while, then went home to regroup. I ended up taking a cat nap then woke up and we went to Jonathan's Grandpa's. Nearly the entire family showed up this year, making it a good crowd. Dinner there was finger foods and they hit the spot!

 Poor Grandpa had a horrible black eye from where he feel a couple days ago, and I of course was looking at a different camera.

Yesterday was my last day off before returning to work today. So I made sure I took down all of the indoor Christmas décor. Jonathan and I will take down the outside lights this weekend. We went to a local business that sells sheds and we picked out one together. I really need it for all my decorations and for the furniture in the back bed room that we are going to be cleaning out. Once our shed is delivered, I'll be able to start emptying the room and cannot wait!

My mom and Ed will probably come over on Saturday for us to exchange all our gifts. Jonathan and I decided to keep our distance until then so we don't risk getting sick also.

Of course like every Christmas, I feel like I am spoiled by the gifts that I receive from friends and family and Jonathan. But Jonathan and I also kind of go overboard when it comes to gift giving, which we love doing. Especially for the ones we know are struggling to make ends meet or using all they have to buy gifts for their kids.

If we can spare some money to give that is what we do, because we know that may be their gas tank to get home, or their dinner money for the next couple days.

For Christmas Jonathan bought me my first Michael Kors purse and matching wallet!

He also took me to Victoria's Secret so I could pick out some new panties, gave me a gift card to Massage Envy, ordered me the Weathertech floor inserts for my car, and gave me a digital picture frame for my desk as work.

My Mom did give us one of our gift's early, which was an awesome Rtic Cooler (same as Yeti and way cheaper.) And... its BLUE! LOVE IT!

I also received a couple scarves, a Yankee Candle wax burner, some wine, gift card to get my nails done, and some shower goodies. All in all, I am feeling super blessed this Christmas. But now that it's over, I am ready for all that 2018 will bring. I'm ready to RING IN THE NEW YEAR!!

Keeping Busy

Christmas is just about here now and I have been keeping extremely busy!
A few quick updates.

Oscar:
Our sweet boy Oscar, that we thought was at the end of his life had his vet appointment, which was very emotional for Jonathan and I both. He did NOT want to go in the office, we practically had to carry him inside... and he's a BIG boy. Our vet evaluated him, because we weren't sure if it was time or not. In our vet's professional opinion, there was nothing leading him to believe that Oscar was suffering in any way. Yes, he has old man arthritis, and his heavy breathing is from damage done by having heartworms previously. But there is nothing majorly wrong with him. We were just not ready to say goodbye yet, so we gladly brought him home. I do think that once his legs stop working, that will be our sign that its time. Our vet did say he thought we may have another month with him, but we are coming up on that month mark now and he's still able to get up and outside on his own. We will keep him with us as long as he's able to do so. Another Christmas with him is absolutely wonderful.







Home Improvements:
We refurnished our entire living room with a new sectional, recliner, entertainment center, coffee table and end tables. I am soooo excited that we are continuing to invest in making our house into a home that we can be proud of and excited to have friends and family come over to visit. I have loved decorating our house for Christmas, and we have had both my mom and Jonathan's mom over on separate occasions for dinner. We usually NEVER have people over. Not because we don't want to, but we just never felt like our house was comfortable for company.

As a surprise, Jonathan started redoing out bathroom while I was out of town visiting family. He installed a new toilet and vanity. Once I got home, I helped him hang a new medicine cabinet that I am very excited about. A few more things to be hung before we can call it finished. (Towel Racks, Toilet paper holder, and hand towel ring.) I will be sure to share a few pics once completed.








Family:
I took a few days off work in the beginning of December so I could get some shopping done, visit some family, and kind of recoop after knowing that our fertility treatment failed. I made a 3.5 hour drive to Roanoke to spend some time with my Pampaw and Beaby (my grandpa and stepgrandma on my mom's side). I don't get to see them nearly as much as I would like to, but I try to make the trip at least twice a year. Majority of the family no longer keeps in touch with them, which breaks their hearts and in return makes me so sad for them. Long family history there and too much to go into detail, but they have ALWAYS loved me and tried to keep in touch, so I have no reasons of my own to be cold to them. My cousin recently got married and they were not invited to her wedding. I made sure to pull her up on Facebook and show them some photos so they could at least see her in her dress. We had a wonderful time just talking, eating dinner and drinking good wine. I did stay the night one of their guest rooms, had some breakfast the next morning and got on the road to head home around 11:30. They gave to me a wooden chair that belonged to my great grandmother, which is one of the many things they have promised to pass down to me. I am so excited to have that chair in my home and hopefully be able to pass down to my own child one day. Definitely was a short trip and forgot to get a updated photo of the three of us, always sad to leave. I plan on making the trip again in the spring and try to stay with them longer next time.

My Grandma (on my Dad's side), is HOME FROM THE HOSPITAL!!! So very glad to be able to say this because at one time it did not seem like she was going to make it. She did have to spend 2 weeks in a rehab to get her strength back, but is now happy at home on oxygen. I am looking forward to going to see her this Saturday.












Other:
Thursday 12/14 was my first day back at work from vacation and we had an accident right in front of our office. A woman on a scooter ran right into the back of a public transportation bus while it was stopped at the bus stop. I have no idea how she managed to do that, but the noise was horrible when she hit it. As I was running out the door and my coworker was calling 911, another accident happens RIGHT beside where the woman is laying in the road. (One car rear ended another). As I am walking up to her, I could just hear her screaming "Oh my god!" over and over. There were a few people already standing nearby but they were just staring at her not doing anything. She was pinned by her left leg under the scooter, but I immediately squatted down beside her and grabbed her hand. Her face was split open on her nose and cheek and blood was just pouring from her face. She was crying and kept asking me to take her helmet off (which was cracked on the top), I told her I couldn't do that and asked her to keep her head still because she kept moving it all around. I kept telling her that she was going to be okay and told her to take slow deep breaths. Finally, another man pulled over that knew first aid, and helped by holding her helmet to the ground so she couldn't move. I grabbed the toes on her right foot, which she said she could feel, but she said she couldn't feel her left leg and was hurting really bad. I felt so sorry for her and said a silent prayer right then asking God to just place his hands on her to protect her from anything more serious than a few broken bones. I wish I had asked her what her name was, and feel guilty that I didn't. But it all happened so fast, my adrenalin was pumping. All I could think to do was to keep telling her the ambulance was coming, she was going to be okay, and keep breathing calmly. She squeezed my hand a few time and every now and them would relax and take a slow deep breath. I hope I was able to provide her with a bit of comfort during such a traumatic event. When the ambulance pulled up I got out of the way and when they started to lift the scooter off of her, her screams made it unbearable to stand by. I had to walk back into the office or I would have lost my composure. My coworker's fiancé is the battalion chief for the local fire department, so we got an update the following morning. Her nose was broken, left leg severely broken, and pelvis shattered. I pray she has a easy recovery, but thank God that there wasn't anything more seriously damaged.



Other than those couple of updates, I have been go go go, pretty much every day. I had dinner one night with 2 friends, celebrated a 50th birthday for a friend of my mom, decorated, dinner with my sister-in-law, Christmastown Busch Gardens light tour, Dr appointment, Mother-in-law's work Xmas Party (family bowling), Christmas cookie decorating at the Father-in-law's house, Finished shopping, Christmas festivities with my work, Dinner with another girlfriend. I have a nail appointment this evening. I need to buy groceries for things I am cooking, need to finish wrapping last few items, and just need to keep my mind busy. I am on Provera right now until the day after Christmas which has me crampy and hot! But I am very excited to get this next cycle going so we can try Clomid again. 2018 WILL BE THE YEAR! I just know it.

PHOTO DUMP:

1st Round Unsuccessful

Well as the title says, my first round of Clomid failed to make me ovulate. I have been extremely emotional and disappointed for the past week. There were 2 times my temp rose but wasn’t sustained. Of course I had my hopes too high and ended in a huge disappointment.
I had mood swings, cramps, bloat, hot flashes, etc. but unfortunately it just didn’t do the trick.
Nothing much more to say about it.

I went in this morning to my OB so she could check for over stimulation, which I do not have. And also to look at my chart for herself. She wrote me a new Rx for Clomid at 100mg to try after I take Provera to induce my period. Will be doing days 5-9 again, and of course I know my hopes will be super high again. When leaving my appointment, my Dr said “we will all be keeping our fingers crossed for you,” which of course when she left the room I cried while putting my pants back on. Infertility is just such an emotional roller coaster, one second you’re feeling positive then the next like the whole world is pregnant except you. Which obviously I know isn’t true, but I saw another pregnancy announcement Tuesday. This girl I went to school with and her boyfriend, who have only been together for less than a year. Totally put me in a horrible funk after seeing that. I really wanted a BFP for Christmas and also to share some exciting news with family, but just wasn’t meant to be.

Just going to try to be more relaxed though as far as sex goes this next time. We were very active this last round, which was honestly more stressful I feel like. We will try to stick with every other day this time, so we can feel like we able to relax with less pressure. I was just so worried we would miss “O” day, that we did it practically every day, sometimes twice.

Definitely need to try to relax a little more next time, which I think will help.

I’m rambling. I’m down in the dumps, sorry.

If this next round doesn’t make me ovulate, I have decided I will go to a specialist for any future treatments. Simply to be monitored and maybe pointed in a different direction if that’s what we need. But we will take a break before going, just to have a mental break from it all.

Anywho, sorry for the negativity in this post. Just wanted to put an update on here. Praying for better luck this next round.

Emotional Wreck

I know these kind of posts are bound to be annoying, but this is where I come to lay it all out there.

So first, update on taking Clomid. Today is CD 15 and I haven’t ovulated yet. Which is really discouraging. I’m still hopeful that I will ovulate but hasn’t happened as of today.
The five days of taking it, I had several side effects. Vivid dreams, hot flashes, moody, bloated/swollen in my ovary areas, cramps, and most of all, I was ravenous!! Eating everything!
With all the side effects, I truly felt like the medicine was doing something. But the fact that I haven’t ovulated yet and side effects are all gone now, has me nervous that it didn’t work at all. Praying with every inch of me that it just hasn’t happened yet and will any day now.

Next on my list... our sweet old man Oscar. He’s been struggling for quite sometime with a few really bad days recently. After a fall this morning and not eating, Jonathan decided it was time to call the vet. He has an appointment tomorrow evening at 6:00 to end all his pain. Jonathan and I are broken hearted and will be grieving him for sometime. But for tonight, I promised to love on him and rub his belly and give him all the treats and make sure he knows how loved he is. We will be staying with him for the euthanasia procedure tomorrow so he hopefully won’t be too scared. It’s going to be so hard, but I always said that putting a loved pet down is the greatest last gift you can give them.
Jonathan and I will be missing a piece of our hearts without him in our home, but we know it’s time, he’s ready.


Next update, my Grandma (dad’s Mom) went into the hospital on Friday 11/17. Heart Failure, COPD. She’s been two packs a day smoker almost her whole life, and at 80 years old... they said she was a walking miracle that she hasn’t been on oxygen before now. Last Wednesday before Thanksgiving, it was looking like we were going to lose her. But what a turn around she made over the next few days! She’s been moved out of the ICU and is improving! Praise God! The power of prayer is truly amazing and I fully believe that it changes things. All of her 4 living children, her 10 grandkids, and 4 great grandkids plus loads of extended family and friends and been praying constantly for her and God has shown us how great he is.

Thanksgiving went by in a blur. Lots of cooking.

We went to a funeral on Saturday for Jonathan’s Aunt’s longtime boyfriend who passed away suddenly.

Two different pregnancy announcements I’ve had to endure. My cousins wife is pregnant with their second child. Which I took that news well. Then my close friend Katie... she’s been also TTC for a few months now, her and I have kept each other up to date. Well she just told me today that she is pregnant. She found out two weeks ago but was scared to tell me for fear of making me sad. Well, I am so incredibly happy for her and her husband. They are wonderful people and so deserve their rainbow baby! But it also makes my heart ache even more, wishing and praying that I will be able to have the same exciting news to share soon.

So ending the post here so I don’t go on and on about how sad I am right now. Going to try to keep my mind calm and keep my eyes on God throughout this difficult time.

Weekend Recap 11/10-11/12

This past weekend was an eventful one. Jonathan left Friday morning for a 3-day racing weekend in Kinston, NC. It’s a small track surrounded by cotton fields. I had originally planned on going with him but he left a day earlier than expected and I had to work. But what a weekend he had!!! Friday night he won the race out of 21 cars! Saturday night he was the Runner up, but still that is awesome to make it to the finals two nights in a row. Then on Sunday, he WON the race AGAIN!!! He was on cloud nine after having such an awesome weekend of racing. I am so incredibly proud of my husband for his determination and joy of racing. He has such a generous heart and spends so much time doing for others; so it makes me extremely happy that he is able to take time for himself doing something that he loves.

Gosh He's such a CUTIE!!!

Saturday was customer appreciate day at our local Tattoo parlor, and as part of the event they had specials on tattoos and a few vendors set up out front to be able to sell their products. My best friend Candace set up her Perfectly Posh table and her sister-in-law set up her LuLaRoe clothing. There were a few other vendors but those were the two people that I knew. So I decided to go up there and get a small one inch tattoo for only $30 (usually the minimum is $60 regardless of how small). I sat up there practically all day because the list was so long, but I figured I got there 9:40, and had waited for hours, I might as well continue to wait and get it done. And I LOVE it!!! (This is my 2nd tattoo. First one is rather large, its the Serenity Prayer on my back.)

After getting my tattoo done, which took the artist Autumn less than 5 minutes to complete, I headed home to finish up the banana pudding I was making for Friendsgiving at my friend’s house. It was my first time making banana pudding so I was a bit nervous about the taste but it was a HIT! There were 2 ingredients that I think made it sooooo good, plus I waited to assemble it right before the party so the cookies would still be crunchy.

 

1 (5.1oz) box of vanilla instant pudding

1 ½ cups whole milk

1 (14oz) can of sweetened condensed milk < secret ingredient #1

12oz cool whip

4 large bananas

1 (11oz) box of vanilla wafers (I didn’t use the whole box)

1 graham cracker pie crust crumbled and sprinkled throughout (my idea) < secret ingredient #2

Whisk first three ingredients until smooth, Fold in Cool Whip then assemble in layers as you see fit. 

 

Friendsgiving is something that I have been going to every year for about 6 years now with the same group of friends. Kathy and Kameron always host and some of the same people go every year. This year was a bit smaller than years past, but it was still so nice to spend some time with these people. We don’t all keep in touch through the year but spending time chatting and just enjoying the company is always a good time.

 

Sunday was my friend’s daughter, Lola’s, 2^nd Birthday. I went over her house a little early to help her prepare for the guests. It was a house FULL of people! And SOOOO MANY KIDS/BABIES/PREGNANT PEOPLE! Kind of put me in a funk during the party but a good friend of mine who is also TTC was texting back and forth with me, which was a good distraction. I was able to vent a little about feeling so out of place at the party, like the only one without a child of my own. Blah blah, I always talk about that so let me stop now.

 

Lola was so stinking cute in her purple tutu! And she LOVED the necklace and bracelet set I got her, she IMMEDIATELTY put them on. Such a girly girl! Loves her jewelry. Also, I was excited to wear my new LuLaRoe shirt and leggings I had purchased on Saturday (yes I wore them to friendsgiving also). Hard to tell in the picture, but the leggings are sooooo cute with Bees on them!

 

After winning the race last night, Jonathan did make the drive home. He arrived around 10:30 and I was so glad to see him. We watched tv awhile, then went to bed. My office manager is on vacation this week, so I am manning the office alone. Hopefully that helps this work week to go by quickly!